Taking a Conscious Relationship to the Co-Creative Level
When Victor and I first got together as a couple in 1993, we were both committed to making our relationship a top priority in our lives. From the very beginning we had vowed to one another that we would always tell the truth and that we would create a space of safety for each other to be truthful. We had both been married before and were willing to acknowledge that we were bringing to this relationship old baggage as well as patterns of behavior that had helped lead to the demise of our previous relationships. We therefore were committed to letting go of the baggage and healing the patterns. We had what many would refer to as a "conscious relationship."
The first year we were together was challenging in many ways. We had to learn to trust one another and to feel safe in "telling the truth." Whenever one of our old patterns would rear its ugly head, we vowed to stop what we were doing, go to our meditation room and process it until we both felt the issue had been healed. The more we were willing to express our feelings and choose to change old patterns, the more we grew together.
Then, in 1995 we made a commitment that would change our relationship in ways we could have never imagined. We decided that we would start meditating together every day. We each believed in the power of meditation and practiced it individually, but we had always stopped short of making the commitment to meditate daily together. Our main excuse was that we were too busy to add this practice to our daily schedule. Then in October 1995 we attended a talk given by Sondra Ray about the power of love. In that talk she happened to mention that she believed A Course In Miracles was the greatest book on the planet today. I knew that Victor had the Course in Miracles books and had studied it years before we had met. So, I turned to him and said, "We ought to study the Course. Why don't we dedicate ourselves to 10 minutes every morning." He agreed we could spare 10 minutes each day and the next morning we began a journey that took our conscious relationship to the co-creative level.
Since we already had an extra bedroom set aside as a meditation room, we decided that every morning when we got up the first thing we would do is go into the meditation room, light the candles and take turns reading out loud from A Course in Miracles. I quickly discovered that I HATED the Course. It was written in a way that was difficult to understand and it was so male oriented – no mention of the feminine. I was really in a lot of judgment and was quick to let Victor know how I was feeling. He very gently said to me, "You don't have to understand it and you don't have to agree with it for it to work in our lives. We just have to do it."
We decided at that point that we would add some prayers to the beginning of our Course in Miracles time together and that we would, after the reading, have a short period of silence to let what we had read filter through our consciousness. We would then have a sharing time and discuss whatever came up for us during the quiet time. Amazingly, I found that I was beginning to understand and love what I was reading. Needless to say, our 10 minutes each morning now was stretching to about 30 minutes or longer and we both found that our meditation time became the most important part of our day!
We continued studying the Course for two years, doing the exercises and applying the principles. During those two years we also found that we were being filled with creative ideas during our meditation time – ideas for new workshops, projects, books and more. We started working together to manifest these ideas. We found more enjoyment in this process than anything either of us had ever experienced! Our relationship had grown from conscious to co-creative! We started our own publishing company to produce the books and tapes that came out of the ideas we received in our meditation time. We also started traveling around the country together doing workshops. In order to keep up our daily meditation ritual during our travels, I put together a "portable altar" with a candle, a tibetan bell, an altar cloth and a copy of the Course that we carried with us in a small zippered case.
Since that time, we have continued to meditate daily using other spiritual books as our focus and adding other rituals to our meditation practice. Our love continues to grow and our co-creative energy continues to expand into new and amazing realms of possibility. Our daily meditation practice has become the most important part of our day and the catalyst that keeps our relationship in the co-creative realm.