© 2019 by Carol Hansen Grey

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How I Attracted Victor in My Life

In 1985 my 20 year marriage ended in an amiable divorce and I moved from Wisconsin to California with my three children.  After about 10 years of being a single mom, I decided that it was time for me to have a man in my life.  Since I was "spiritually inclined" I decided that I would put my metaphysical principles to work and manifest the "perfect" man.  

Every day for 20 minutes I went into my "manifesting workshop" with pad and pen and started making a list of everything I wanted in a relationship:  an intelligent man who is on a conscious spiritual path, a truthful man who is willing to grow along with me, a man who will work along side me and be the "wind under my wings," a man who is fun and comfortable to be around, a man who listens—really listens, a man who is wise and understanding, a man who is compassionate, caring and nurturing.  I desired a relationship with a man who loves to travel and meet exciting and interesting people.  A desired a relationship where we shared mutual appreciation and respect for one another.

During the day I gathered "data" by observing other couples and making mental notes about how they interacted and what appealed to me.  Then I would add to and refine my list.  

After about three weeks wonderful men started showing up in my life.  They met almost all the "requirements," however, they were gay.  I had to refine my list.  I added that my relationship had to be with a heterosexual man.  Then young men in their 20s and 30s started showing up in my life.  Back to the list:  my relationship has to be with a man my age.  That was the last entry I made on my list.

Three days later I was at a spiritual healers networking breakfast I regularly attended one a month.  We each had an opportunity to introduce ourselves to the group and tell something about our work.  A man who was new the group introduced himself as Victor Grey.  He was a hypnotherapist and had recently moved to California from Connecticut.  He was looking for a place to do his work.  After the introductions I looked him up, told him about the healing center I directed and invited him to take a tour.  We made an appointment for the next day.  He loved the center and joined the staff.  

I always invited all new staff members to come as a guest to my Lighten Up workshop.  The next one was in a couple of days and Victor attended.  After the workshop he said he would like to repay my kindness by painting my portrait.  I was thrilled to accept.  We made an appointment for the next day.

After he finished my portrait we spent a couple hours talking and sharing life experiences.  During the course of the conversation he just happened to mention that he was 50.  I said, "Oh, you're my age."  As soon as those words came out of my mouth I immediately thought, "I wonder if this is the guy?"  

The next day I left for Wisconsin for 3 weeks.  All the while I was gone I kept wondering if he was "the guy."  When I returned to California I called him to see how he was doing at the Center.  He said he loved it and then he suggested that we get together sometime.  I told him that I was having an out-of-town guest over for dinner the next evening and asked if he would like to join us.  He accepted.  The three of us had a great evening and when my guest retired for the evening, Victor and I stayed up and talked until 3 a.m.  Long story -- short: He moved in with me three weeks later. 

 

Victor fulfilled every "requirement" on my list and more.  He is spiritual, intelligent, caring, nurturing, kind and compassionate.  He appreciates, honors and respects me, as I do him.  He began teaching workshops with me and we traveled around the country meeting interesting people and sharing our spiritual gifts.  Together we started a publishing company and have produced several books and tapes.  We bring Spirit into our relationship every day by meditating together each morning.  We both believe that our relationship has blossomed into a co-creative relationship because of our commitment to Spirit.

After we had been together for a few months, Victor shared with me what he had been going through before we met.  He had been in California for a few months and was feeling lost and alone.  His hypnotherapy practice was not taking off and he was actually considering moving back to Connecticut.  One day he went for a walk in the redwoods and during that walk he visualized his life as a big ball in his hands.  He held out the ball and offered it to Spirit, saying, "Here, you take it, it's Yours.  Do with it what You will."  He met me the next day!

On our fifth anniversary of being together we were married in a private ceremony at the retreat home of two Unity ministers who had become dear friends.  We truly believe that our relationship was orchestrated by Spirit and we are filled with joy.